Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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