Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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