I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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