Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
