She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
