Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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