grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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