I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
