At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
