We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
