Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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