so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
