Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
