His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
