i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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