STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize
