I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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