May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
