Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
