That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
