just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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