can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
