She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
