idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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