I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
