I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
