I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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