so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You need Xanax blowdarts
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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