i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
