I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
