Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
