Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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