i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
