Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
