i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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