easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
