awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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