We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't deserve a penis
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
