Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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