You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
