You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
