I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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