I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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