What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
tell me about the eggs
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
