oh god the rape fog is back!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
