12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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