I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
