Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
