So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
