just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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