i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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